“I walk with my head up high, not because I have children!
I walk with my heart on my sleeves, not because I have someone or people who make me feel good!
I walk with strength, not because I have things that I am capable of doing!
I walk in power, not because I have the ability to unconditionally forgive.
I walk in elegance and virtues, not because I have beauty!
I walk with a smile, joy and peace, not because I have WISDOM and Intellect.
I walk the way I walk, because I have a God!”
May you walk in your Destiny in 2018.
I am that woman who gave them more chances than they probably deserved because when they showed me the bad parts of who they were, I chose to see the good in them regardless.
It did not mean that I was stupid, nor was I blinded by love!
I did it because I wanted them to know that my love for them had nothing to do with their performances in bed or of being a good man. My love for them had everything to do with a choice I had made that’s why I also walked away when I realised that their love were no longer reci-pro-cate.
How I kept moving on with new relationship is also by choice.
I am the woman who forgave their lies and I believed in their excuses because I UNDERSTAND things come up and sometimes plans don’t go accordingly.
There were many occasions when they did not stick to the plans we’ve planned. I never was mad but disappointment, “that I was”.
I have accepted the apologies they never said because I believed and still BELIEVE, they could become better individuals.
I kept trying because I believed in them but they could not see nor did they believe in me or us!
Even after we’ve parted, I am the woman they can still rely on for advice. I am the woman who will always be there for them even though they have not shown me that same respect and commitment.
I always give without expecting anything in return and I always tell people that I am the easiest woman you can have if you want me
Because it seems too easy to have me, they thought it is easy to win me back.
My undivided ATTENTION, I gave them even when they did not earn it.
I am the woman that loves unconditionally because I care more about building people and not using people to build myself up LIKE they used me to built themselves.
I love HARD and I get hurt from loving hard and because I have my heart on my sleeves, many assume I am insecure.
I use to stand in the mirror, analysing my flaws each time my relationship broke, trying to understand why these men never saw my values!
Unapologetically, yeah, I say what I feel, and what I feel is my TRUTH!
“Treat others, the way you want to be treated!” This has always been my principle from as long as I can remember!
No matter how tempting it got for me to give them a taste of their own medicine. I still choose not to be the one to treat them how they treat me!
But in the end of being a woman like me, I got used, I got taken advantage of, I got judged very harshly and treated unkindly even though I never deserved it.
Despite being given every reason to change to a wicked woman, I did not change.
Despite everything, I still believe good men exist, I am just yet to meet one.
I would not change the woman that I am. I will continue to be all the above and I have accepted the truth that even when I continue to get hurt, I will not change. Do you know why?
Because everyone I interact with changes through my example of kindness, compassion, unconditional love and understanding of circumstances and others.
Do not get me wrong, I always walk away when I have tried harder than I should have in the first place.
Even though my heart cries each time I had to give up on THEM but there is so much, that someone can do. When I have done all that I can do, and nothing changes, I walk away.
I am the woman who you did hurt when you were young and foolish But now that you are old, you regret me!
In your regret, you are thinking back how you hurt me and I never even hurt you back. Just walked away.
If only you did put aside your ego and mastered your courage to apologize to me! I would have easily forgiven you.
I would have welcomed you with open arms and a smile as if the time, distance and your mistakes were just nightmares.
But instead you are watching my every moves, on social media, because you have realised that I was the one who deserved better all this time.
But Now, we are OVER, do not regret anything, just love the person you are with BETTER!
A woman like me!❤
The reason why many do not succeed in life is because they are always waiting for something before they can do SOMETHING!
Well, you will wait until the End of the WORLD! The universe does not work like that!
First of all it is a loving and fair universe we are living in. You can not do bad and get away with it. So choose to do good always 😘!
Second of all, until you invest the little money you have, the universe which is govern by God, will not give you more because as far as it’s concerned, you do not need more money and if you are always wasting money, then you will never get money, in fact you will find yourself into too much debt because you did not understand the principles.
I started my businesses in 2011 with £33 in my bank account, six years later, I am still using my own money and I have not yet applied for a business loan because I don’t believe it’s time yet.
Because I show the universe on daily basis that I am ready for such assistance and I am waiting for when the bank will approach me and offer me the loan. That’s when I will be in the position to say yes or no!
Look at my first clothing logo. “LOVE MY TRADE MARK”!
Then look at the new logo that I will use.
Huge different right?
THAT’S because one was done without the resources that I NOW!
Regardless of the lack of laptop, photoshop/illustrator software, I was determine to put these words in clothes.
Now I am waiting for a Mac PC to do MORE and an ART studio with all equipments so I can really bring out all the creativities in me.
Do you want to help me?
Feel free but here is why I said success is a MINDSET:
I am a lone parent who has five children with two being diagnosed as special needs children. I have never been able to work the full time hours because of my children and I hated the idea of being on benefit when I have functional legs and arms to WORK! So, I used my benefit at that time, to pay for some online courses etc.
From 2008 to 2011 when I finished, I decided I will go self employed. Benefit got cut and by 2016, I was in housing arrears of over £4000, I was facing eviction and I did not know what to do. I was force to go back to benefit or my children would have been taken away from me… 😣
In 2017, I am a month in advance with my housing rent, I designed my own clothing BRAND http://www.palapanqueen.com, I released my music single “Love you” by Nia-V, I am officially an “Appropriate Adult” for individuals in police custody, I am an ART agent, I delivered my first LIFE Coach topic in a retreat, I now collaborate with other clothing BRANDs as a MOTHER BRAND to them, all these activities has taken me out of benefits and I know by next year, many who are able to help, will help!
This is why I am a life COACH!
I know the low, the ups and the middle. I know the good, the bad and the painful. I know the fear, the anxiety and Faith!
The MORE I faced these challenges, the more I related to this saying ” What does not kill you, makes you strong”!
I daily push to change my life regardless of the circumstances or situation I find myself in.
Thank you for reading my inspiration story and may you find strength in my story to do the same.
Love Niina x